a stream of consciousness

A walk through the garden and my mind….
I have been out and about walking and puttering around in my garden. My mind has wandered and has been a wonderful companion. Here is a stream of consciousness that I will share with you.

We practice self-alienation through our negative thinking based on our fear belief structure. We then reflect this distorted energy externally and interpret it as judgment, rejection and abandonment by whatever or whomever our fertile ego mind can drum up to blame. When our lack of thinking is the norm and we are really just living from a reactive energy. This energy field is familiar, and what is familiar and known to us is fear. Fear = separation/self alienation and this fosters a very negative and chaotic mind and energy field. This very same energy feeds in on itself and the alienation from our truth and love intensifies; the more “lost” we feel and the more controlling of self and others we become. This is living in chaos and separated from divine energy. It is practicing self destruction and abuse.

While in my garden I was examining the flowers and I recognized myself in them. I mean that all of life follows a pattern…the same pattern of birth-life-death-birth-life etc. To judge myself for something done or said is to deny who I am as a soul and spirit. It is this judgement that is the self-alienating process and it becomes stultifying to growth and change. I see my plants coming up and I am excited at each new change that happens – that I get to observe. The formation of a bud is beautiful yet it “loses” it beauty to change and growth as it becomes a full bloom. The full flower that offers my senses such delight only lives because the bud continued to change and grow and the change continues its full and perennial cycle.

My garden continues to teach me and like the fluid organic nature of the plants, no part is separate. Life is about growth and change. The plant grows flowers by letting go of the bud. The flower becomes is own expression and expansion of the young bud. For me to focus only upon the bud of a rose, for example, I totally miss the entire beauty of the life cycle. This could be analogous to trying to hold onto youth and judging age as something abhorrent and to be avoided at all cost. Perhaps this is the fear of death? It is the fear of change. It does not really matter because it is still fear, control, negative energy and denial of spirit. This is refusing to change and grow and experience life in full. The more I am willing to live the spiritual patterns of the ethical values, the more comfort I find within me and the more exciting life becomes. This is our perennial movement as our cycle of Being.