Saturday, September 13, 2008

my head takes my body for a walk

On my walk today I was very conscious of the beauty of the day; how the hues, shapes, textures of nature all blended so seamlessly with my senses and my physical body. In a moment of appreciation my mind opened to hear my mother’s voice saying “we must have an open mind” and immediately strings of memory nodes activated and I enjoyed a kaleidoscope of sensory joy rush through me and I savoured the moment, the memories. It has been almost 6 years since my mother transitioned and I still feel her presence keenly. This sensing of her energy, of seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling her hand on my shoulder on occasions, to name a few, all comes down to communication which has help to heal my sense of loss of her physical presence. This is no different than internal communication. The pattern is in place.

So what does having an open mind mean to me? I think of it as a mind of movement, of freedom from fear beliefs which hinder and flavour perceptions and dictate emotions, attitude, actions and my life. To engage in negative emotions is to show ourselves that we have no love for self and have no value. This is pretty bad but then we insist on sharing this energy with everyone and everything else. What a prime example of self absorption this is.

I thought about the question “what is my life about?” And immediately I heard:
Learning
Changing
Healing
Teaching
I look at these words and see how they link together in a very intimate manner and it allows me to see yet again the inseparability of everything or the unity of everything. I have to change the way I am thinking in order to learn and in order to learn I have to open my mind to change. In learning and changing I expand my mind, the energy of me because my perception of who I am continues to change. My mind continues to expand as the energy of love softens all experiences through understanding of the lessons.

What a wonderful moment in movement I have just had. I feel a huge shift in my energy as I recognize the positive emotions are my emotional safety net. Life is indeed good when the mind is encouraged to open and communication is the name of the game.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

a stream of consciousness

A walk through the garden and my mind….
I have been out and about walking and puttering around in my garden. My mind has wandered and has been a wonderful companion. Here is a stream of consciousness that I will share with you.

We practice self-alienation through our negative thinking based on our fear belief structure. We then reflect this distorted energy externally and interpret it as judgment, rejection and abandonment by whatever or whomever our fertile ego mind can drum up to blame. When our lack of thinking is the norm and we are really just living from a reactive energy. This energy field is familiar, and what is familiar and known to us is fear. Fear = separation/self alienation and this fosters a very negative and chaotic mind and energy field. This very same energy feeds in on itself and the alienation from our truth and love intensifies; the more “lost” we feel and the more controlling of self and others we become. This is living in chaos and separated from divine energy. It is practicing self destruction and abuse.

While in my garden I was examining the flowers and I recognized myself in them. I mean that all of life follows a pattern…the same pattern of birth-life-death-birth-life etc. To judge myself for something done or said is to deny who I am as a soul and spirit. It is this judgement that is the self-alienating process and it becomes stultifying to growth and change. I see my plants coming up and I am excited at each new change that happens – that I get to observe. The formation of a bud is beautiful yet it “loses” it beauty to change and growth as it becomes a full bloom. The full flower that offers my senses such delight only lives because the bud continued to change and grow and the change continues its full and perennial cycle.

My garden continues to teach me and like the fluid organic nature of the plants, no part is separate. Life is about growth and change. The plant grows flowers by letting go of the bud. The flower becomes is own expression and expansion of the young bud. For me to focus only upon the bud of a rose, for example, I totally miss the entire beauty of the life cycle. This could be analogous to trying to hold onto youth and judging age as something abhorrent and to be avoided at all cost. Perhaps this is the fear of death? It is the fear of change. It does not really matter because it is still fear, control, negative energy and denial of spirit. This is refusing to change and grow and experience life in full. The more I am willing to live the spiritual patterns of the ethical values, the more comfort I find within me and the more exciting life becomes. This is our perennial movement as our cycle of Being.