gift of love

I have been challenged with the deaths of my physical family unit to find solace and comfort within myself and expand myself to understand what it all means. I feel the biggest gift has been to know that I can still communicate with my mother! What a difference this made to me! A month after her transition… I was heart-sore, reading in bed, when I felt her vibration, then a scent of roses, and I saw an oval shape of energy above me and I knew unequivocally that it was my mother. I felt an intense love come over me (just writing this I can recall the experience and feel it again). It felt like a large volume of information was transferred between us. The next morning on awakening I was so very conscious of the absence of pain in my physical heart. I knew unequivocally that I could communicate with my mother and that there was no separation! This is because we are energy and energy never dies. I have taken much solace from this experience and have drawn on it many times. This is all part of my lesson in opening to the truth of who I am as energy and therefore a part of all that is. To not continue to expand on this experience is to basically deny my spirit and the love of all…to deny love.

I recognize and embrace the energy of love. My responsibility is to expand on it. I feel that the information “download” I received from the energy of my mother is within the emotion of love. I do not have conscious memory of what the information details were exactly, what I do know is the feeling of intense love and in this energy I will “retrieve” or know the contents. Perhaps I am trying to make it into something too small, like physical details, and it is too large and free to be contained and defined in such a way because it is energy. I have to live with love every second and to be conscious of being energy. As I experienced the healing of my heart ache through the energy communication of love from my mother, this is the pattern of healing that I use in helping self and others. It is energy and it vibrates and all senses are utilized. It is this energy as spirit consciousness that I continually try to balance…or rather I am energy continually striving for balance. This is the movement that comes from using my mind in a unified manner with the energy of love that creates dynamic and expansive energy! Energy is real!

To life, living, love.

I have stumbled across an old poem I wrote many years ago. I recall my surprise at how easily the words and feeling tones flowed through me to empty onto paper and take on a physical shape. Sometimes I think that we “effort” too much instead of just being open to being and flowing, which is really the difference between control and freedom of our mind. At least freedom for/of my mind is what I have been striving for.

There have been many a time when I have said something and both the listener and I hear it at the same time. This was how I began my first class. I was chatting to others and the next thing I knew I was telling them of this class I was planning on doing…I was not conscious of this thought until I heard my words. This poem is another example of this in a way. I feel I write to show my mind where I want to be…and then I spend time growing into my words.

I learn by living, by doing. This is the value of studying Spiritual Philosophy… to begin to understand patterns of my mind, my life--of life. Spiritual Philosophy offers me very practical ways of living. It offers me answers that resonate in deep and abiding tones within me as my mind awakens to itself. It feels like the synthesis of life coming together in a harmony and familiar rhythm within my emotional heart, mind and spirit senses. I do celebrate life and toast the love of life!

To Life!

To life
where no ego-protective shell
needs hide the passionate soul.

To living
where music harmonizes in colours
and voices speak in shapes.

To love, truth and equality
forming dimensions of consciousness where
time does not exist and space IS.

The art is in the living, internally
supported, reflecting the trinity.
The healing has begun.

Raewyn. 1996